Nighttime vigils

Father Jakob has taught me that in spite of the outward church teachings, men in the brotherhood of priests must support each other, even when that means giving each other comfort in their sexual desires. My first time with Father Jakob was an amazing experience, almost spiritual. I never imagined that my sexual desires would be accepted by the church. I wanted to become a priest to run away from my desires for other men; or at least, to learn to resist them by devoting myself to the Church but now I find that they are at the center of my spiritual devotion.

I don’t know if Father Jakob said something to Father Angelo, or not. Perhaps as Father Jakob said, the men of the Church offer each other comfort and Father Angelo just sought me out on his own. Whichever it was, shortly after my encounter with Father Jakob, Father Angelo started showing an interest in me. At first it was simply checking in to see if I was doing well, then small acts of brotherly affection, a pat on the shoulder, a hug. That progressed to offering a sympathetic ear, advice if I needed it, that kind of thing, repeatedly telling me that his door was always open.