I don't brag about my cock since it was given a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. I've snubbed the Oscars to focus on my 3 picture deal.
My cock plays Anaconda in the new sequel, King Kong will crawl up it in the remake, plus it will star in the TITANIC sequel.
It was Vin Diesel's stunt double in xXx, starred in GODZILLA vs MY COCK, and also in BOA.
I don't return Spielberg's calls, because I'm going on the road. The Rolling Stones are the opening act.
Mick Jagger can French kiss a moose, but he broke his jaw trying to blow me.
Sex is for peasants.

MY COCK IS SO BIG:

* It's considered the Eighth Wonder of the World.
* I can fuck the Grand Canyon.
* Sometimes my cock jerks me off.
* I was once in Ohio and got a blow job in Vermont.
* You can't blow me without a ladder.
* Premature ejaculation takes ninety minutes.
* I could wear it as a tie if I wasn't afraid of getting a hard-on and strangling myself.
* I have to stand in the hall and use a complex irrigation system just to take a leak.
* It has it's own time zone: Central Cock Time.
* When I get hard it hits me in the face and half my body goes numb.
* It's a felony for me to have an erection.
* It has it's own ZIP code.
* It violates seventeen zoning laws.
* Parts of it haven't been discovered yet.
* It affects the weather and the tides.
* Every time I get hard I cause a solar eclipse.
* It can be seen from space and interplanetary distances are measured in light years and my cock years.
* It bends time and space.
* Black holes cannot escape its gravitation pull.
* Einstein's theory has been revised: E = mc2 + my cock.
* NASA has launched a space probe to measure it.
* It's the fastest growing religion on the planet.